I’m sending this newsletter a little early because I’ll be on retreat next week—my first in-person retreat since 2019! I look forward to diving into stillness and will share any new perspectives with you when I return.
“You’ve Got to Move It, Move It”
Yesterday, I bent down to pick up a thread and felt my lower back tweak. Uh-oh! Having dealt with chronic back issues, I instinctively thought rest was best, but I remembered that movement had often helped me heal.
So, I joined morning yoga and set off with Jay on our planned hike—6 ½ miles through a canyon near Lake Mead that involved rugged scrambling and fixed ropes. Our destination: Goldstrike Hot Springs.
The Canyon
We made it to the hot springs and soaked before heading back. However, my back was still stiff, and I moved slowly. By the 4.5-mile mark, I just wanted to be done. Then I remembered a little life hack: happiness doesn’t come from skipping the hard bits but from slowing down and paying closer attention.
As I walked, I noticed how my thoughts had hijacked my attention—thoughts about my back, being tired, and the state of the world. It was time for a Jedi mind trick.
A Jedi Mind Trick
I shifted my thinking from “I want this canyon to end” to “This canyon is my whole life right now.”
Imagining that the canyon would never end brought me relief. My senses came alive: I heard the crunch of gravel underfoot, noticed caves pocking the canyon walls, and felt the breeze against my skin. Thoughts about politics and pain still lingered, but I remembered another tool from my toolbox.
Tonglen – Taking Suffering In
Instead of breathing in the good and out the bad, I practiced Tonglen—the opposite. In Tonglen, you intentionally breathe suffering in and peace out. This practice cultivates compassion for ourselves and others and reminds us that we can transform suffering into peace.
Years ago, at a retreat, I practiced Tonglen with the thought “I am inadequate.” Instead of fighting it or offering platitudes, I let it in. In a flash, I saw that the ego identity would always be inadequate and that who I am is something else altogether. What unfolded felt like a doorway into a profound space—a realm of selfless Oneness that transcended any single thought or feeling.
This experience opened within me a place untouched by circumstance—a reminder of our inviolable core. You can read more about this in Practice #17 in Naked in the Now.
Following Love’s Camels
Nearly five years ago, Jay and I attended our last residential retreat. Now we’re ready to go again, craving stillness and undistracted time to explore being. Retreats can feel daunting—sit, eat, listen, practice, repeat—but there’s beauty in it.
In preparation, I revisited notes from that 2019 retreat called Following Love’s Camels. Our teacher guided us through the soul’s landscape—from the Land of Delusion to the Abode of the Beloved—visiting landmarks like the Valley of Surrender and the Field of Forgiveness.
The Canyon of Desolation
I paused when I read about the Canyon of Desolation, where we search for the Wailing Wall and the Breeze of Grace. Many of us may have found ourselves in similar canyons lately—a place we’d love to exit.
But this canyon is essential. Let’s not rush to escape it. There’s an opportunity to intentionally linger here. We can relish the nuances of being present. We can trust the transformative power of the well of love within and practice Tonglen for ourselves and each other. We can nurture our inner well by inhaling suffering and exhaling peace while appreciating our shared journey.
Repurposing the Quilt of Our Collective Lives
We are all in this together. Even if we only intellectually grasp selfless Oneness, our lives are clearly intricately pieced together—a tapestry of different beliefs, values, and priorities forming a shared whole.
This idea has been close to me this week as I work with a nearly century-old quilt by Jay’s great-grandmother, Minnie Robinson. Some of the fabric is disintegrating, and although we’ve kept it, we never see or use it.
I decided to repurpose Minnie’s quilt for a baby doll carrier for my granddaughter. Instead of being folded on a shelf, Minnie’s quilt could be loved by her great-great-great-grandchildren—recycled yet cherished.
Working with Minnie’s quilt reminded me of quilting circles—a gathering place for women to talk and create together. Her quilt features a Dresden Plate pattern from the 1930s during the Depression.
Each hardship we face is an opportunity to thread warmth and compassion into our lives. When we take in suffering through Tonglen, we honor our shared humanity.
Practice Suggestion: Jedi Mind Trick and Tonglen
If you’d like a practice to try this week: When something uncomfortable arises, lean into it as if it’s your whole world for that moment. Notice your surroundings as if you’re wrapping yourself in them. To deepen this practice, try Tonglen: breathe in discomfort for everyone who has felt it; breathe out peace for yourself and others.
Good News
Naked Writing Workshop on Zoom: I’m hosting a new Naked Writing Workshop on November 19, 2024, at 12:00 PM through Meetup. If you’re curious about writing from a place of raw awareness, I’d love for you to join!
Affectionate Witnessing Article Coming Soon: My article “The Art of Affectionate Witnessing: Transforming Communication Pitfalls into Awareness and Connection” will be published soon in Spirituality & Health Magazine. I’ll share the link when it’s live!
Spreading the word and sharing love Just as we practice compassion by taking in suffering and breathing out peace, your thoughtful review can offer others a moment of clarity and insight. Thank you for helping spread the word and sharing the love.
Goldstrike Canyon and a Repurposed 100-year-old quilt!
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