Hello Reader!
This past week has been a whirlwind of activities and precious moments with my family, particularly with my 3-year-old granddaughter, Cedar. Our adventure started with a delightful trip to the fabric store, where Cedar picked out her favorite fabrics: pink astronauts, hot pink with candy, dark pink gingham with cherries, light pink with strawberries, and star fabric. I had to chuckle when her mom, Jaime, said, “her taste differs from mine!” When Cedar was a newborn, we all went out of our way NOT to buy pink—oh, the best-laid plans…
Cedar shared her vision of what to create with the fabric she picked: “This one could be a skirt, with rainbow buttons,” “This one, pants with regular buttons,” “This one, a dress with cupcake buttons at the top.” Then she helped me sew, sitting on my lap or passing me the things I needed: scissors, pins, thread, buttons. We cut out patterns and pieced them together while her parents and Jay did the same thing with wood, building a deck extension to provide more space for gatherings and outdoor fun. Doing projects together is undoubtedly one of life’s joys. It’s an easy way to be present with what is—the project at hand—and also a way to feel connected with others.
In the midst of all this, I’ve been checking up on my other daughter, Sanni, who is still navigating health challenges. She and her family had been traveling to Europe to meet up with friends for the summer when their flight was waylaid in Colorado. During the overnight delay, she got sick and ended up in the hospital. Their carefully crafted plans went awry as managing a new health plan came front and center. I flew to Colorado to help care for her, then brought her back to Vegas, where she spent another week in the hospital while we delayed our trip north. Later, she flew to Washington, where she received additional medical attention.
Being present for my family during their joys and struggles is rewarding. However, it also throws a wrench into my usual routine and requires gentleness toward others and myself. I’ve found myself struggling to sleep some nights, and it’s in these quiet, restless hours, I’ve turned to the simplest of my practices—watching my breath.
For years, I thought watching my breath was something I had to “do.” It took me a while to realize it was almost the opposite. Instead of doing something, the practice encourages me to rest and watch. Even now, nearly thirty years after learning the principles of meditation, I appreciate this one. But it didn’t come naturally to me. I struggled for years with breath meditation—not the type where you intentionally control your breath, as in inhaling while counting to five, holding for seven, and exhaling to eight—but the other kind, where you endeavor to notice your breath. Every time I went to watch my breath, the part of my brain that could control my breath would kick in. But I knew that the breath happened on its own most of the day, using the involuntary breath system. I wanted to learn to watch myself breathe without the need to control it as soon as I looked.
So, as I fall asleep every night, I relax and practice watching my body breathe. Watching my breath with great curiosity helps me let go of the need for control. It’s a gentle reminder that so much of life is out of our hands, happening on its own. I only watch for a breath or two many nights—and that’s okay. I’ve learned to leave myself curious and keep trying instead of getting frustrated by not prolonging and “perfecting” it. By gently cultivating this habit of observation, we can develop a sense of peace and acceptance, even amid chaos. This practice is one of the first ones in my book, Naked in the Now, called “Following the Breath of the Beloved.” I also think of this not as a “meditation,” which sounds like work, but a gentle awareness practice.
It’s a good practice—this one of observing without controlling. Life often feels like a series of uncontrollable events. Watching our breath without altering its natural rhythm helps us. This tiny observation creates a small but significant distance, a space we can be without needing to manage or control.
I’d love to hear your impressions about practicing moments of pure observation. Whether it’s watching your breath, enjoying a cup of tea, or noticing yourself engaging in a creative project, what’s your experience? I expect you’ll find, as I have, that noticing these moments helps us navigate the uncontrollable aspects of life with less frustration and more grace.
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. If you haven’t yet, I invite you to explore my book Naked in the Now, where I delve deeper into practices for cultivating presence and finding peace in everyday moments. And if you have read it, please leave a review 🙂 . The reviews are piling up, and this encourages me. For authors, having someone take the time to leave a review is like getting paid!
Below is all about upcoming or recent events and offerings!
Upcoming Event:
Are you ready to get a little Naked in the Now? Come play with me! I’ll be offering an author meet & greet and immersive workshop at 2 pm on July 20th at the esteemed Village Books and Paper Dreams bookstore in Fairhaven (Bellingham, WA).
Write Now Mind:
I had intended to facilitate another Write Now Mind in July, but things have been too hectic, especially with my daughter’s illness. I do plan to start another session soon! Please email me if you are interested, and I will add you to the pre-registration list for the upcoming session. You can learn more here if you are unfamiliar with Write Now Mind. It is a powerful writing and awareness practice and a sweet community with only a 15-minute per-week commitment that you do on your own time. It’s free.
Recent Podcasts:
I have been on several podcasts recently. If you are interested you can find links to them here:
· Please Me! – discover your inner striptease
· Mindfulness Mode – effect on emotions, thoughts on breathing, overcoming bullying
· The Spiritual Forum – intimacy with the divine
Recent Article:
· Naked Writing for Anxiety Relief in Spirituality & Health Magazine
I hope to hear from you!
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Jason and Cedar on part of the deck extension. Cedar is sporting her new hot pink candy dress and strawberry pants. Not shown: cupcake buttons on the front of the dress and orange and yellow buttons on the bottom of the pants. |
Smiles,
https://marijkemccandless.com
Kirkus Reviews endorses Naked in the Now!
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