Hello Reader!
Cheeky Irreverence
This week, I embraced a cheeky irreverence that opened up new avenues of joy and adventure. It all began when my friend Kat and I decided to attend the Las Vegas Book Festival dressed in sequined mini-skirts and feather headdresses (never mind that we are in our 60s!). Inspired by the event’s headliner, John Waters—an American filmmaker, writer, actor, and artist known for his transgressive cult films—we stepped outside our comfort zones and embraced the fun.
John Waters, now 78, was delightful! He is naturally irreverent, wholly entertaining, and always entirely himself, unafraid to cross “good taste” boundaries while remaining mindful of his lived experiences. During the Q&A after his keynote, a Black woman asked him if he ever considered making a film about the Sex Workers of Las Vegas. His answer was simple: “I know nothing about that. I only write about what I have lived. You should make the film!” He proceeded to ask her questions with the curiosity of a child, fascinated when she responded that the work was good.
I left that keynote feeling uplifted and hopeful about humanity. Everyone has room to express themselves. Most importantly, there’s room to explore and to say yes! even when the “appropriate” or “safe” response might be to defer quietly.
Shifting Mindset: From “I Can’t” to “I Can!”
Embracing this attitude of curiosity and willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone can be transformative. This week, I witnessed a perfect example of this mindset from my 86-year-old mother. When asked if she thought she could handle horseback riding (only for the third time in her life!), she didn’t hesitate long before responding, “If the Queen can do it, so can I!”
Her attitude struck me—how quickly she moved from “Can I?” to a firm “I can!” This reply was a powerful reminder that so much of what we think we’re capable of starts with our mindset. My mother could have easily said, “I’m too old for that,” or “I haven’t done it enough times.” But instead, she chose to embrace the possibility rather than the limitation.
Reflecting on my experience, I remember staring at myself in the mirror earlier this month, trying on that sequin mini-skirt, and feeling uncertain. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I muttered to Kat. She looked at me with a twinkle and said, “Is that so?”
I immediately smiled, realizing she had thrown my practice from Naked in the Now back at me. It was the perfect reminder to question our assumptions about what we can or cannot do.
Call to Action: The Power of “Is That So?”
Asking “Is that so?” has been a powerful tool on my self-inquiry journey. It appears in my book, Naked in the Now, as Practice #13 in Chapter 6, The Inner Striptease. It’s all about questioning our assumptions and stretching our limitations.
When I first learned to rock climb in my mid-fifties, I could have easily thought, “I’m too old for this.” But when I paused and asked myself, “Is that so?” it allowed me to challenge that limitation and open up to something new. Similarly, my mother’s “Yes!” to horseback riding at 86 exemplifies what can happen when we push through the stories we tell ourselves.
I invite you to try Practice #13 this week. Whenever you catch yourself saying, “I can’t,” or placing limitations on yourself, pause and ask, “Is that so?” It’s a powerful way to turn doubt into possibility. What new experiences might you say “Yes!” to by simply questioning your assumptions?
Saying Yes to “What Is,” Even When “What Is” is Unacceptable
One question I often encounter when encouraging people to say yes! to life is how we interpret that idea. Many assume that saying yes! means agreeing to every request that comes their way. But here’s the reminder: YOU are part of the collective humanity to which you say yes. Saying Yes! to life often means saying no to others. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most powerful ways to say yes! to life.
Another layer of complexity arises when we’re faced with difficult circumstances. How do we say Yes! to life when tragedy strikes or illness befalls us? My husband, Jay, has been wrestling with this as he’s been sick again. For him, saying Yes! to life this week meant recognizing his need for rest and staying in bed.
I remember sitting very still with this idea some years ago after the shooting at an elementary school in Texas. I wrestled with the concept of saying Yes! to life, even amid tragedy. What emerged was a poem I published on Scribe publication in Medium titled, “Saying Yes to ‘What Is,’ Even When ‘What Is’ is Unacceptable: A Poem of Grief and Love.” Although not widely read, I still feel deeply connected to that poem for grappling with this idea.
Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History
At the Las Vegas Book Festival, dressed in pink and orange sequins and outlandish feather headdresses, Kat and I felt emboldened to engage with others. Our outfits helped us fearlessly approach strangers, sparking conversations about writing, being Naked in the Now, and the power of stepping outside our comfort zones. Over 30 people responded positively, including writing groups and book clubs. I dare say they won’t forget us!
It’s scary to put yourself out there. We fear rejection and judgment. What will people think? Am I being too pushy?
What we stand to gain, however, is the confidence that comes from being our true selves. When we allow our natural expression to free itself, we discover new aspects of ourselves. This freedom lies at the heart of Naked in the Now—a loosening of the binds of conditioning.
I learn this daily from my 2½-year-old granddaughter, June, who is innately kind and compassionate and also naturally bold and confident, expressing herself clearly. We sometimes joke that she embodies the spirit of the meme: “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”
Call to Action: Engage and Explore
As you reflect on this week’s theme of embracing the “Yes!” in your life, I invite you to engage with it actively. Share when you said “Yes!” to something outside your comfort zone. Whether it’s trying a new activity, meeting new people, or simply exploring new ideas, I’d love to hear your stories! Reply to this email or share your experience on social media by tagging me.
Let’s celebrate our bold choices together!
Good News
As we celebrate bold choices, I’m excited to share some updates! My upcoming article, “The Art of Affectionate Witnessing,” will be featured next month in Spirituality & Health Magazine. In it, I explore how deep listening can transform communication challenges and cultivate a more profound connection with ourselves and others.
I’ll also lead a new Writing and Awareness Practice workshop at Cowboy Trails (the site where I just went horseback riding! It turns out they have a covered space I can use)—an in-person event where we’ll explore mindfulness, creativity, and authentic expression through writing exercises and nature. If you can’t make it to Las Vegas, I’ll be offering a new online Zoom workshop for those interested in these practices from afar. (Stay tuned for details!)
Speaking of saying yes to life, I want to share one of my favorite reviews of Naked in the Now from IndieReader. While it’s not a recent review, it ties beautifully with this week’s theme:
“Naked in the Now by Marijke McCandless brings readers on a cheeky quest towards authentic self-expression and presence, precisely what’s needed today. This book transforms meditation into a joyful exploration, making it the ultimate invitation to shed the mundane and celebrate the vibrancy of the now—a must-have for anyone craving to live life freely and fully.”
Thank you all for your continued support! As always, I appreciate you sharing your Naked in the Now reviews!
|
On the left my 86-yo mom horseback riding; On the right Kat and I hamming it up at the Las Vegas Book Festival |
Smiles,
https://marijkemccandless.com
Kirkus Reviews endorses Naked in the Now!
Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205
